Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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