i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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