So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
