So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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