Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
