we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
