A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize