Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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