and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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