i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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