I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize