the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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