nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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