Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
