Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
