is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize