Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
