I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
