I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
