And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
