that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
