Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
