If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
