Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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