Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
