I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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