doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
