Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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