Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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