Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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