He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have fence marks all over my body
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
