I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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