everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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