she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
