why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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