You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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