Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
