Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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