walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
