I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
