Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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