the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
