Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.