i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes