HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
