i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
