I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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