I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
