If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
