Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
