I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
