i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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