I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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