He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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