Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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