New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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