Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
