Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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