sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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