i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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