The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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