I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
