my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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