so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
