She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
