I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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