He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome