i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?