Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
