he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
