Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
worst night to have a conscience
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I need to calm my uterus...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
